after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
