Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
