This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Vodka?
Forever.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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