oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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