p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
