Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
