he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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