but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
