All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
