I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
