that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
