My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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