how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
