do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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