Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
