last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
