There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize