I accidentally burped into my bong.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
