Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
