Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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