I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
