Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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