When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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