she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
