Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
