WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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