You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
