Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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