It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
