Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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