I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
