I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
