you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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