people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just gargled with NyQuil
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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