I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
