So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
