also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
