I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
