i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
