i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
