fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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