I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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