my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
