yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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