if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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