very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
