You're completely useless in the revolution.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
