So drunk its hurt
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
