I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
