I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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