Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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