i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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