He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
