I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize
