and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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