Porn is love you can see.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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